My hippie 'Let's All Love Each Other' moment... And while we're at it, let's stop competing so much!

This is something that has been on my mind since before Poppy was born, and I think it's something most (if not all) Mummies can relate to. 

Why does everything have to be a competition?

(Warning... If I seem ranty, I don't mean to, I'm just passionate about this. It comes from a good place, so please stick with it! Also, there is a tasteful picture of me breastfeeding in this blog, just in case you don't like that kind of thing.)

I (personally) get so tired of seeing posts all over social media that appear to be 'competing' over the best method of parenting. Depending on which side of the fence you sit on the topic in question; you can read an article and be left feeling great, or like you're failing. That seems unnecessary to me. 

Someone once told me that the strongest people are the ones who are found building others up, not knocking people down. I wish we could all adopt this approach instead of trying to be 'better' than someone else? Parenting is hard. Fact. There are a lot of decisions to be made, and you as a parent, make the choice that is right for your family. 

Taking a moment out to feed Poppy at the wedding :)

One of the 'discussions' (I'm not sure you can call it that) that often comes up is about breastfeeding, and boy, does it divide people. I breastfeed, always have done, and I love it; I have no plans to stop just yet. It was a choice Steve and I made, the right one for us, and I stuck with it even when it wasn't easy (down right hard is more apt). For other Mums, it might not be the right choice, and that's great for them. Everyone needs to do what is right for them, and I think we should be supporting each other wholeheartedly.

One of my closest friends had a baby not too long after me, and she knew before her beautiful girl was born that she wanted to formula feed, and she does. Good for her for being so strong and sticking to her guns; it's what works for her little family. BUT... She was made to feel like rubbish by midwives because of her choice, and I know some posts on social media have caused ill feeling for her too. Someone please tell me how this is fair, and why it's at all necessary??

That's not to say that it doesn't go the other way too. Some people say that seeing people breastfeeding makes them feel like they missed out on something. OK, I get that, but equally, the picture of your husband bottle feeding your baby makes me feel the same, but we don't need to be unkind to each other about it. I don't mean to make anyone feel bad, I just want to capture those close moments with my daughter, and share them with the people I love. There's no malice intended whatsoever. 

I'm lucky. I've said it before, and I'm sure I'll say it again. I have an amazing family and a group of friends who have been nothing but supportive through every decision we've made with regards to parenting. From co-sleeping to baby wearing, to putting Poppy with a child-minder at 9 months old so I could go back to work. And for their support, I am forever grateful!

I guess what I don't understand is why we feel the need to pick at each others choices, why can't we just appreciate the beautiful moments being shared and be happy for each other? Why does it need to be a competition? I think that no method trumps the other, and as long as our babies grow up happy and healthy, isn't that the only thing that matters?

Maybe I seem like a bit of a hippie, wanting everyone to get along and be positive, but maybe it only takes one positive outlook to start a ripple. What if we all had a positive and supportive attitude? Imagine the difference.

Xx

I got MARRIED!!

And yes, it was one of the best days of my life!

*soppy post ahead* 
That's fair warning guys... :)

On Saturday 4^th July 2015, I married my tall guy. The guy whose pet name for me is ‘dick-head’, and I love that! We are idiots together, we act like big kids, and we are always laughing. If you’d have told me 14 years ago when I met Steve that I’d end up as his wife, I’d never have believed you. We are like chalk and cheese, completely different in so many ways, and I think that’s why we work so well. We balance each other out!

The wedding was PERFECT! The week leading up to it, however, was less than ideal. I think that’s a fair way to describe it. So many things went wrong; my dress, our banns not being read and Poppy having to go to hospital, all within 4 days of each other. Looking at it retrospectively, it taught me more about being positive and to believe that things will always be OK somehow, even though at times that might seem unlikely. At the time, however, I was more of a blubbering mess than a positive little hippie!

I'm a big believer in putting positivity and good vibes out in to the universe, and in the week leading up to the wedding, I think that might have been the only thing that got me through. I’d love to say that deep down I knew it would be OK, but I’d be lying.

I could elaborate on each disaster, maybe go into great detail about what went wrong, and how horrendous I felt about it all... or I could be thankful that it all came together in the end in spite of all that went wrong. I'm going with the latter.

I AM SO LUCKY!

I got to marry the man I love, and celebrate the day with our closest family and friends (although a special few were missed!) The weather was amazing (nice and cool while we got ready, then beautifully sunny and hot for the rest of the day), the service, breakfast and reception were all perfect, and everyone had a wonderful time, so I'm told! Steve and I certainly did!

After all that went wrong in the run up,  the only thing I cared about was marrying the man I love, and starting out on our new adventure as husband and wife (how grown up does that sound?!) 

I was thankful we listened to advice from friends and stole a few moments throughout the day, just Steve and I, as it really did go so fast, and other than our 'moments' I barely saw him after the meal.

I just want to say a massive THANK YOU to everyone who came to our wedding, and an even bigger thank you to everyone who made it possible!! 

I'm a wife... Mrs. Dyne... That's me!! :) :)

Xx

What being a Mummy has taught me...

When you become a Mummy, you very quickly realise that there is an awful lot to learn! Since my daughter was born almost 10 months ago, I have learned more than I thought I could, and I am still learning every day. I wanted to share what I've discovered so far, sorry, this is a long one...

The love you feel is on a whole new level.
The moment I lifted Poppy from the water in the birth pool and held her in my arms was the best moment of my life. I didn't know it was possible to love another person so strongly, and here she was, 10 fingers, 10 toes, brown hair, beautiful eyes, and my heart was hers. I would risk my life for her without hesitation. It's not just the baby love that changed for me, it was the love for (my new hubby) Steve. I didn't know I could love him any more than I already did, but he had made me a Mummy. A MUMMY! He had given me this amazing gift, and when I saw him hold Poppy for the first time my heart nearly exploded with love! The wonderful thing about the love I have for my little family is how much it continues to grow every single day.

Every baby is different (bit of friendly advice, stop comparing them, seriously!)

I know that might be easier said than done, but honestly, it's the truth! So many people will tell you how different each baby is, and when I finally accepted this, I made peace with the things Poppy didn't do that others did. OK, so Poppy didn't sleep through until just a few months ago, but she did other things early on, but it's not a competition.  It’s really easy to start thinking that you might be doing something wrong, and I wasted so many hours thinking I was doing parenting wrong, but I'm not. We are just doing it our way. Everybody has a different way, and their way is right for them.

Mummy friends are worth their weight in gold!

To all my Mummy friends reading this: THANK YOU! Mummy friends keep you sane when your little angel is screaming the house down and you can't work out why, or when she won’t take her milk, or there’s been a poonami situation; and when you can talk to 4 or 5 girls in the same boat as you at 2am, 3am, or 4am, it makes life so much easier. When they offer to come and watch your baby so you can have a shower or go to the shops quickly, or offer to bring you a duvet when your little one has thrown up all over yours, you know you're the winner in the world of friendships! Mummy friends just 'get it'.

Families are everything!
All I need to say about our families is how amazing they are and how grateful we are to have them. Thank you all for your never ending support and love! I know I would be lost with out you all... especially you, Mum. I don't know how you look after Steve and I, and look after Poppy, and you're still as amazing as you are! You are my role model, and if I'm half the Mother you are, I'll be doing ok.

It’s OK to try something you said you wouldn’t do.

We were never going to bed share. Right from the beginning, we said Poppy would never be in our bed, but as I write this, our little beauty is fast asleep… in our bed! The moment we stopped fighting it was the moment she started sleeping through. I only wish we’d given in before she was 8 and a half months old (again... I was comparing our parenting style to others and I wish I hadn't!)

Bad days happen, don't worry about them.

Of course bad days happen when you have a young baby, but I used to think I needed to be 'on' every day. Some days I just wanted to stay in with my girl and cuddle her until the day got better, and some days I knew that getting out would help improve my day. Either way, I learned that it's ok to have bad days, and it's OK to go with them; I don't have to be 'happy Amii' all the time!

It’s OK to ask for and accept help.

People are very willing to help with newborn babies, so I quickly learned to accept help when it’s offered and ask when I needed help! My Mum was practically a ‘meals on wheels’ service for us during the first few weeks, and she was (and continues to be) a real blessing!

Enjoy every second.

Time goes so quickly (honestly it really and truly does), that before you know it you will be looking back wondering how your baby got to be so big. I can't believe my baby will be 1 in just a couple of months! Every moment with a baby is precious, so saver them all. Turn off your phone and the TV and spend some quality time just being together. 

Above all else, I have found that for me, being a Mummy is simply perfect. Every up and every down is worth it. Being a Mum rocks!

xx