A few weeks without make-up...

It might sound like hell to some people, but it really wasn't.

By most standards, I don’t wear much make-up, and I never really have done. My morning make-up routine sees me reaching for moisturiser, mascara and blusher. It takes me less than 5 minutes, but that's mainly because I have a toddler to entertain! Sometimes I throw on a lipstick or some lip gloss – someone once told me you can take over the world wearing a good lip gloss, which makes me smile a lot.

I don’t wear foundation at all really; and concealer, eyeshadow, eyeliner, and everything else lurking deep within my make-up drawer, are only usually shown the light of day when I'm going somewhere special, or when I'm on stage.

Despite the fact I don’t wear a lot of day make-up, in recent years I found myself wanting to wear it to feel good about myself, which is crazy. Cosmetics should never be a defining factor in how a person feels, yet their prominence makes it seem more and more like they are.

Even though I like to wear make-up, I am still quite comfortable going out without it, and do so very regularly to a variety of reactions. A few weeks ago I caught conjunctivitis off my daughter (nice), so naturally, I backed away from the mascara wand. I haven’t worn make up since, it’s been 3 weeks now, my skin feels amazing, and I feel pretty good about it too.

In those 3 weeks I've not had as many comments as I thought I might to be honest, but I have heard some comments about my skin. They've ranged from lovely, confidence boosting words, to just plain hurtful words.

 “You look really pale, are you ill?”

“You’re skin looks amazing!”

“You look so tired.”

“You’re not wearing make-up? Why?”

“I wish I had the confidence to do that.”

“I wish I had your skin.”

“You look like you've had a bit of a breakout.”

“You look really fresh faced.”

All things that have been said to me in the past 3 weeks. A few of them really bothered me, like why pale is a bad thing, but I got over myself, and after I had a ‘moment’ I was ok. 

I realised how lucky I am that I have been raised and have always been surrounded by people who have exuded the message that beauty is within, and I will be bringing my daughter up the same way. My husband always makes me feel good about myself, whether I have crappy old clothes on, bad hair and am so pale I'm practically transparent; or I am dressed up like I'm off to some glamorous event. For his attitude, and for making me feel comfortable enough to be myself whatever, I will be forever grateful (shhh, don’t tell him I got all mushy!)

That's not to say I don't love make-up; I absolutely I do. I get all excited about new products and brushes just as much as the next person, but I've sort of reached a point now where I almost don't care. By saying that, I mean I don’t care what people think of my skin, their opinion isn't for me to worry about. My skin, and whether I wear make-up or not doesn't affect the kind of person I am, and I will endeavour to keep this sense of positivity and confidence about it.

I will try to hold on to how I feel right now, to never to feel like I ‘have’ to wear make-up. Of course, I will wear it, but because I want to, I enjoy it and I like to wear it; never because I feel like I need to.

 Xx

Babywearing. It Works for Us...

I feel like this post might seem a little ranty in places, and if it does, I apologise, that's not my intention.

Yesterday I read a blog, that 100% slated babywearing, and the parents who choose to do it. So I wanted to write a post about my experience with baby wearing, because I love it (I stress this is only my opinion, and I don't want to offend anyone!)

Before Poppy was born,  Steve and I didn't really know much about baby wearing at all. I had bought a second hand Close Caboo (which turned out to be a god send for a colicy baby, who hated sleeping) but I wasn't set on using it too much. As it happened, when Poppy was a few weeks old, the Caboo was a life saver. I was a new mum, Steve had gone back to work, and for a good few hours a day, Poppy had to be held upright to soothe her, and I'm not very good at doing nothing... so having the Caboo meant I could hold her upright, and I had my hands free to keep busy! I found that I really enjoyed the closeness, and the extra cuddles, so I started looking into carriers a bit more at that point. But there are so many out there that I didn't really have a clue where to start, so I left it for a while.

When Poppy was 5 weeks old, I met Julia, who is now a very close friend, who I love to pieces! She is a proper advocate for baby wearing, and a whiz with a wrap, so she showed me how to wrap, and let me borrow one of her Oschas. I was hooked. A week later I had my first wrap! She introduced me to Coventry Slings, who are great and hold regular meets for people to learn about slings / cariers and hire, so if you're interested, look them up on Facebook, I learned a lot from the meets.

Over the last year and a half I have looked into and tried other wraps and carriers, and luckily, I now have a few to chose from. I am actually really into my ring sling at the moment, because it's really easy to use with a seat popping, wriggly toddler, and Poppy loves it. I bought a ring sling when she was younger, but I didn't get on with it at the time, so I sold it on, but now I wouldn't be without one. I love having Poppy at my level when we are out and about as I can really be involved in her experiencing things, and occasionally, I catch her looking at me in the cutest way just before she snuggles in to me and falls asleep. I love it!

Some people think babywearing is too expensive, and they're right in some ways, as it can be, but it doesn't have to be! I bought my wraps 2nd grade on sale, or second / third hand through trading groups on Facebook, and I won both of my ring slings (one, I won this morning!) So you can get bargains and deals, you just have to look for them, and be willing to wait for them. I found a great deal on a Caboo recently which I bought for a friend and her beautiful new daughter, I was thankful to be able to help someone else learn about babywearing.

It isn't for everyone, and that's fine. It doesn't have to be, I'm not trying to say that it should be, but it is for us. I am so glad we fell into it the way we did! I do still use pushchairs a lot, and have a couple to choose from too. It's just that, for me, wrapping Poppy and having her close is super special, and I love that we do it, and I will continue to do it until she doesn't enjoy it any more. As you can see from her face in the pictures, I don't think that time is coming just yet, thankfully. But it will come. There will come a time when she doesn't want to be up any more and when that happens, I will listen, and sadly, I will stop babywearing.

I want to say something in response to the blog I read yesterday. Because I choose to "wear" my baby, does not put me into a 'catergory' of parent, nothing should categorize parents or parenting full stop, but what I really don't appreciate is peoples assumptions about babywearing and the parents / carers who do it. You wouldn't tell someone their baby looked uncomfortable in a pushchair, so why do people do it when babies are in a wrap? Crazy. There should be no judgements, but for some reason some people think they have a right to judge. I just don't get it...

I have and always will support any parenting method that keeps our precious little ones safe and healthy. I don't care if you breastfeed or bottle feed, co-sleep or put your baby in a cot, solely use slings or only use pushchairs, make your own food or buy baby jars, don't allow screen time or put your baby in front of the TV for a while. As long as you are doing what's right for your baby / toddler / child, and they are healthy and happy, that's all that's important!

My Tips for Moving House with a Toddler...

So we recently found our 'forever home', and in January of this year we moved. If I thought all of my previous house moves were hard work (and I've moved a lot... I used to like the change for some unknown reason), they weren't. They were walks in the park compared to what it's like to move with a toddler!

We loved our first house, and made some very happy memories there, but at the end of last year a house came up in the area that we really wanted to move to, at a price we really couldn't resist. We practically jumped for joy when we were lucky enough to have our offer accepted (sorry to the other 6 people who put offers in... but, really, I'm not sorry at all!) It all went pretty smoothly to be honest, and we completed on 22nd January 2016 :) Saying goodbye to our Lime Tree house was more emotional than I thought it would be, but understandably, I guess. It was our first house together, we hosted our first Christmas and Easter there, we got engaged there, we had Poppy while we lived there, and we got married while we lived there. But it was time to pass the house on to a new couple to make their memories in, and the people who bought our house couldn't be lovelier! I hope their time there is as happy as our was.

Packing up the house didn't start until after Christmas, because I'm Christmas crazy and I didn't want anything getting in the way of the festivities; but that didn't really give me a very big window to pack up everything we own. Never has packing given me as much anxiety as it did this time did. I was a nightmare (sorry, guys and thanks for putting up with me). I had lists everywhere, colour coded labels, and more boxes than I knew what to do with (don't worry, I managed to fill them all!!) But all of that (however anal and annoying it may have been) actually let to a fairly organised move, and to be able to say that when we had Poppy running around, is pretty good!

On move day, Steve worked, while I had Poppy and the movers loaded the house into the van. Some people thought it was unusual that Steve didn't take the day off, but since I don't work on Fridays anyway, it was a waste of a day off for him, since so much of the day is waiting around. So he took the following Monday off instead, so we could get cracking with decorating.

I did learn a few things about moving with a toddler, and since I don't plan to move again (ever) I thought what I've learned may be useful to someone else, or may be not, but I'm going to share my tips anyway!

1. Pack a First Night Box / Last Minute Box
Seriously, this was a godsend. I saw this on a blog I read in December, and immediately knew it would be useful. I packed two different boxes, one with things I knew we would need straight away, such as tools, iPod dock, etc, and a second box with things like toiletries, nappies, wipes, a few of Poppy's favourite toys and a couple of items of clothing for each of us. Had we been moving into the house straight away, the contents of these boxes would have probably been different, but we actually moved in with my parents for 5 weeks, while we renovated the house.

2. Get your toddler involved!
I had mixed feelings about having Poppy help with packing / unpacking boxes; it could have gone either way, but she was actually great. She loved helping me and was (mostly) an angel, although packing her things was harder than packing everything else. She liked to unpack her boxes as I packed them, but thankfully that game only lasted an hour or so.

3. Snacks, snacks, snacks.
This one isn't rocket science...A week before we moved, I stocked up on lots of quick and easy snacks, so I knew I would have lots at hand for move day, with minimal time and effort used on my part. I was pinching every penny possible, so I didn't spend a fortune, but I had lots of fruit, biscuits, juice etc on hand through out the day. I made sure that I had disposable bibs and nothing that needed washing up (except her cup) so it was suuuuuper easy.

4. One of my biggest tips... Use your Family and Friends!
In hindsight, I don't know what we would have done without our family and friends, especially my Mum when it came to Poppy. She was so amazing, and looked after her so much for us. She was able to focus 100% on Poppy, while the rest of us ran around like headless chickens, from during manic packing, to the first evening we were in the house, and throughout the renovations. So much so, that Poppy didn't kick off once during the whole process. My Mum is a complete and utter star and for that I am forever grateful! Don't be afraid to ask a friend or family member to look after your little one for a few hours if you need it, and if any of my friends reading this are moving and they need a babysitter... just call! I am more than happy to help.

5. What about a moving day treat?
Poppy was a little young to understand why she was allowed to watch Sofia the First on the iPad and play with new toys, but it was a treat, and it kept her busy and happy on moving day, and that's a win!

6. Leave your little ones room until last (if you can)
When packing, I left the majority of Poppy's room until the day before we moved, when she was staying overnight at my parent's house, so that she would have as little disruption as possible. Her cot was one of the first things to go up in the new house, and even though it was in a different room, the cot and everything in it was the same, and thankfully her sleep wasn't disrupted at all... which, if you know Poppy, you will know is a miracle!

7. Babywearing...
I love babywearing anyway, but instead of wrapping Poppy, I borrowed a buckled carrier from my cousin for moving day. This way, when I needed her out of the way of the movers, I could pop her up on my back or my front, I had my hands free to help, and she was happy because she could see what was happening. Babywearing isn't for everyone, but it is for us, so it was never a question that I would wear Poppy during the move!

Somethings worth looking at:
If you are interested in babywearing, Coventry Slings are amazing, and they hold regular meets, where you can try different carriers and find what's right for you... check them out: http://coventryslingmeet.co.uk/ or https://www.facebook.com/Covslings

If you're in Coventry and need a decent mover, Fletcher Removals are amazing, and I can't recommend them enough... Contact them here: https://www.facebook.com/FletcherRemovals

Xx

Saying (an emotional) goodbye to Breastfeeding...

Last week, just one day after my baby girl turned one, she decided she was done with breast feeding.

I won't lie, I was more than a little heart broken. A whole year she's needed me for and it was almost like a switch flipped and she realised she didn't need me in that way any more. She has been having most of her milk from a bottle since we went on our honeymoon... which is so crazy since we spent months and months and a lot of money trying out every bottle on the market (well, almost) but she wouldn't take anything at all, then we go away and it's like something clicked. Now she only has to see the bottle and she's flapping with excitement! So, I've been feeding her from the bottle while we have a story after bath time, then I always offer her a feed from me, and she usually latched straight away, although sometimes I think it was more for comfort than actual milk. 

Last Tuesday, however, she finished her bottle and I offered her a feed from me, but she was happy to just fall asleep. I was heart broken, but proud of her all at the same time. We spent so long in the early days fighting with Poppy over sleep, and for her to finish her bottle and just fall asleep and let me put her in her cot was massive, but I was so upset that we were done with breastfeeding.

I'd always wanted to leave it up to her as to when we stopped. When she decided she was done, that would be it. I didn't want to force her to stop breast feeding before she was ready and I didn't want to force her to keep going just because I wasn't ready for it to stop. The choice to breastfeed has always been about her, so the choice to stop (we felt) should be hers too. That approach doesn't work for everyone, and I'm not judging anyone who has done it a different way, or anyone who's bottle fed their baby; I am simply saying what worked for us. You do what you have to to provide for your child.

I will really miss that special time Poppy and I had. It was like we had special cuddles that were scheduled in every day, and no matter what, they always happened. 

In the early days, it was hard. Hard to spend so much time feeding her, hard when she wouldn't latch properly and I thought I was doing it all wrong, and hard to feel the weight of responsibility for providing all of her food. But it was everything. It was one of the most rewarding things I have ever done. I know that despite the struggles we experienced, I had it easy compared to the struggles some people go through. Instead of feeling burdened by it all, I tried to focus on the positive, and I found it so incredibly lovely to have her so close by all the time. Some of my favourite times were those special middle of the night moments, when all was still and quiet, Steve was asleep next to us and I would sit in bed feeding Poppy. Those perfect little moments when everything just clicks and it feels right. That would be my time to reflect and think how lucky we were and how grateful I was for my little family. That breastfeeding bond is something I will forever cherish the memories of. 

We've been really lucky that I was able to breastfeed for so long, and I'm super proud that we made it past her first birthday and did a whole year. As she got older, and started to drop feeds, I started to realise that the end (of breastfeeding) would come at some point soon. For the last week or two at least, I have made an effort to take in every moment of her feeds, just in case it was her last one, and I'm so glad I did. For now at least the memory of her last feed is fresh, but I hope I can retain it for a long time.

I almost feel like she grew up while I wasn't looking, even if it was only by a teeny bit. She doesn't need me in that way any more, and it's the first real time she hasn't needed me. Which, as any Mum will probably agree, is really hard to comprehend. And although she still needs me in so many other ways and probably in ways I'm sure we're yet to discover, I am a little sad that we have passed this stage in her life.

My little baby girl is becoming a little toddler... And though I'm a little sad, I'm so excited to see what life has in store for us...

Thank you, NHS...

This blog comes direct to you guys from UHCW, where my poorly little poppet is laying in a cot next to me. Advance warning... I haven't slept and this post is laced with sarcasm!

I've been very aware lately of all the negativity around the NHS and their (supposed) inability to provide excellent care at the weekend... That is just absurd. After experiencing it first hand this weekend, I want to give the NHS the credit it deserves! 

After a week of a poorly Poppy not getting any better, I called 111 yesterday (Sunday) at around 1:30pm and they booked us an appointment at the walk in centre for 5pm. We were seen at 5pm. On the dot. By a doctor who, in my eyes, is the best doctor we have ever taken Poppy to. Instead of ignoring Poppy and talking directly to Steve and I, he fully acknowledged her and tried incredibly hard to make her smile, laugh and stay calm while he was checking her over, which was absolutely wonderful. Instead of being scared, and despite being very poorly, she just went with the flow. If only all doctors could be like this guy was... But let's not forget... Apparently, care isn't as good at the weekends.

We were sent over to UHCW, where the waiting room in Childrens A&E was jam packed with poorly little ones, yet we didn't once feel forgotten. We were booked in quickly, triaged quickly, given medicine quickly, then seen by a doctor within an hour and a half. Yet again the doctor who looked at Poppy was wonderful. After checking her over and giving us his diagnosis and recommendations (which were only a little different from the first doctors), he actually asked for my opinion on the right way to treat her. In his very words, "Mum is always right, we always listen to Mum's opinion." 

What an incredible attitude. On a Sunday.

Poppy was admitted and given oxygen, antibiotics and calpol, and was tended to overnight by two of the most caring nurses I have ever encountered. And believe me, I have had my fair share of hospital admissions by which to make comparisons!

Even this morning when the nurses are nearing the end of their long night shifts (again, let's stress, on a weekend) they are kind, and helpful, and doing their rounds with smiles on their faces. 

This weekend I have been truly astounded by the care Poppy has received, and very pleasantly surprised by it too. There is so much negativity about the NHS floating around, and especially about the level of care the provide at weekends, so I was a little apprehensive... But to that absurd hearsay, I'm afraid I now have to stick two fingers up. It's a load of crap. 

From the moment I called 111, to right this second, when the nurses have just been to check Poppys oxygen, I can honestly say the care she has received has been wonderful.

Everyone here is working their socks off, nurses, doctors, health care assistants, receptionists... and I really think the negative comments about the NHS are unjust. Yes, this may just be the humble opinion of one person, but it's a positive one, and maybe, just maybe I can combat some negativity with this post. 

I am so very grateful that we have this health care system in place in the UK. And it's free to use. Free. If we feel poorly, or our families are poorly we can go and see a doctor, for nothing. There are people suffering in the world without any access to any sort of health care... I feel foolish for ever having moaned about the NHS, because come on, we all have at some point.

Thank you, NHS. For all that you do.

The Dreaded 'Mummy Guilt'...

So it’s been a while since I was able to blog because, you know, ‘life’ got in the way, but I’m going to try and be better at doing it more regularly again, and with Christmas not far away, I’m sure I’ll have plenty to write (ramble on) about!

Something that’s been on my mind, and I’ve wanted to write about for a while is ‘mummy guilt’, which is honestly a real thing. Ask almost any Mum, anywhere.

‘Mummy guilt’ as a term, is something I probably would have rolled my eyes at before I had  Poppy… now however, it is something that is constant in my life. Seriously, every day. There is always the feeling of not doing enough, or that I should have done something different, or something better.

Like when the house needs cleaning, but I played with Poppy instead…

Or when I cleaned the house and didn’t play with Poppy for long enough…

Or if I only read her one book, should I have read her two??

Did she spend too long watching the Disney channel because I needed to get some jobs done?

Was that sneeze because I didn’t wrap her up enough?? (I mean, come on… a sneeze is just a sneeze)

When I went back to work in June, the Mummy guilt reached brand new levels. I wished so dearly that I could afford to stay home with my girl just a little bit longer, but that wasn’t the case. I needed adult interaction, she needed to be around children and we needed the money. Our little Popstar was already growing so quickly and now I was going to miss so much by being at work. My mind went crazy with guilt and my heart felt heavy… Would she dislike me for sending her to someone else’s house while I worked? Would she resent me for making that choice? As it turns out, she LOVES her child-minder and practically squeals with excitement when she opens the door to us every morning. I know I’m lucky with that, but I’m also very thankful of our child-minder. We found a great one, who Poppy loves, and she’s developing so well, which eases the guilt on that topic somewhat, although not completely.

I’ve kind of accepted that the guilt will always be there, but what I’ve spent a lot of time trying to work out is, why? Why was it, that since this little person came into our lives, I can’t trust in what I’m doing enough to know that it is in fact, enough? Would it ever be enough? Then I read a wonderful blog (I’m sorry, I can’t remember the name of it to link it), in which the writer mentioned the Mummy guilt, and for her, she had decided to embrace it. What she wrote sounded so right to me, that I too decided to embrace it.

For me (and I stress this is only my opinion), if I’m not feeling the Mummy guilt, then I’ve stopped caring as much as I should. What a brilliant way to turn a negative feeling into something I can process and use! Not everyone may be able to do this, and that’s fine, but for me, I think I can, and I will definitely try to. If my girl is loved, and fed and (mostly) happy, then I am doing the best that I can.

So now, when I the guilt hits, I will be trying to embrace it instead of feeling beaten by it.

Come at me, Mummy Guilt. Bring it on.

Xx

Things I could learn from my Daughter...

My daughter may only be 1, but she has already taught me so much. SO much. I was thinking about this recently and started to make a list of the things I have learned from her and things I could learn from her, not from being her Mum (I already did a post on that http://amiileanne.blogspot.co.uk/2015/07/what-being-mummy-has-taught-me.html ), but things I could really learn from watching her and how she is. I know that sounds crazy… she’s the child and I’m the parent and I should be doing the teaching, but hear me out…

Here are a few things that I think I could really learn from my beautiful daughter.

1. She accepts people and loves without boundaries.

She doesn’t care about age, gender, race, background, religion, or any of those things. Watching children play and interact no matter the difference between them is a really special thing. It’s something I think a LOT of people could learn from.

2. She doesn’t judge.

The world hasn’t taught her to judge yet.

3. She’s not greedy for ‘things’.

Poppy doesn’t want the latest gadgets (apart from mine and her Dads phones… of course she wants those because she can’t have them). She doesn’t constantly want for new toys, or the most fashionable clothes. Really small children aren’t greedy for those things because they don’t truly know how to be, and although they know quite well how to throw a tantrum, the tantrum is usually short lived. They want our time.  Poppy wants me to play with her, and read to her, and take her to the park. She wants the same from her Daddy, and her Grandparents. She wants for the things that don’t cost a penny, and she is free to do that for as long as she wants. We all need to take a leaf from that book.

4. She goes with the flow.

Now, I know not all children are so great with change, and I know I am lucky to have a little lady that embraces change so well. I am almost 30, and I still suck with change sometimes. I have learned to panic, to stress, and to really over think everything that goes with change, and I, personally, need to learn from these lovely, adaptable little toddlers who see things simply for what they are. Change is ok. It will all be ok.

5. She’s always happy.

She can’t tell me this, but the constant smile on her face (anyone who knows her will know that’s true) shows me that she is happy. She smiles at everything and everyone around her. She’s not cynical or full of hatred; she doesn’t know how to be. She smiles because the world she sees around her is good. Imagine how much better our world would be if we all smiled because of the world around us, instead of taking to social media to rant about this, that and the other.

I know this a short and sweet post, but when I started thinking about it, it really struck a chord with me. Maybe it will resonate with you too, maybe it won’t, and that’s ok. Maybe you have learned from little ones and maybe you haven’t, and that’s ok.

Maybe, just maybe, we could all learn something from the way children see the world…