¡Hola! So the reason I've been utterly rubbish at blogging lately is because we had our honeymoon :) :) We were lucky enough that the overwhelming generosity of our family and friends enabled us to have a week in the completely beautiful Riu Palace Pacifico Hotel in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. It was an incredible week, and was the perfect way to celebrate and reflect on our wedding (even though it was a little while afterwards). We did so much while we were there and really made the most of some 'us' time together, and I feel like we both feel better for it. In fact I feel like we all feel a bit better for having some time away... Poppy included. I've had this discussion a few times since being home, and I've been met by different reactions, but to be honest (and to reiterate what I've said before) what is right for us (parenting wise) may not be right for someone else, so please, let's not be judgemental.
Before we went away, I really wanted to blog about being away from Poppy for a week (well, 9 nights in total... not that I was counting or anything), but I didn't truly know how I would feel, and speculation doesn't make for great writing, so I held off until now, so I can talk from experience.
It took a lot of convincing for me to agree to leave Poppy at home while we went to Mexico. A week seemed like such a long time and we would be so far away! The Mummy guilt was almost too much, but eventually, I agreed, and I'm so glad I did, which is apparently, judging by reactions when I've said this, a controversial thing to say?! I'm not sure why though. I love my baby, but I love my husband too, without him there would be no her, so I think it's OK to enjoy time without her. It don't think it makes me a bad Mum, I actually think it made me a better Mum, and a better wife.
I thought I would be a total wreck when it came to dropping Poppy off on the Friday lunchtime before we left, but actually, I was surprisingly OK. I had to tell Steve not to talk to me for a minute or two when we left in case I cried, but by the time we hit the A46 out of Coventry, I was OK. She was OK. She had her own little cot and tonnes of toys at Mum and Dads, and she absolutely adores them, so I knew she would be fine. When I've told people that I wasn't a complete wreck, without tears streaming from my eyes as I left her, some have been shocked that I wasn't more emotional... but I don't get why. I was still going to leave her... what would dramatics have done except make everything harder for all of us??
On the Saturday morning we got up nice and early and off we went to Gatwick. Again, I was surprisingly OK, but we had spoken to Mum in the morning and then in the airport lounge we took advantage of the free wifi and face timed our beautiful girl. She was smiling and happy so I was immediately put at ease, not that I had expected her to be any other way to be honest. The flight was fine, and so was the first night in Mexico however, I was starting to feel a little guilty that I didn't feel like my heart was breaking being away from her (or something equally as dramatic), but I was ok.
Every morning when we woke up, we face timed (how amazing is technology), and each time, Poppy would beam from ear to ear when she saw us. It was the highlight of my mornings, and Steve will back me up when I say that I practically leapt out of bed each day to get my phone and make the call. When I saw how happy she was, I knew she was fine, and that made it easy for me to relax and enjoy every second of the honeymoon (have I mentioned it was amazing?!) That's not to say I didn't talk about her at every chance I got, to anyone who asked (and to a fair few who didn't). I'm sure I bored our new friends to tears, but they were so lovely and listened to me bragging about my perfect little ray of sunshine, and how good she was being for her Nanny and Grandad.
I was able to start my days knowing that all was OK back home, and that meant I was able to be completely 'there' with Steve, without having my mind racing back to Coventry all the time to wonder how Poppy was, which was kind of the whole point. I know just how lucky I am to have people that love Poppy so much and will take care of her for us without a moments hesitation, and I don't take that for granted at all.
Many parents will tell you they 'need a break', and I mean a real break. A few days child free, rather than just a couple of hours at home without them, when actually you end up busier because you feel like you need to make the most of that time. So 3 loads of washing, and a sparkling house later you've achieved loads, but actually sometimes you feel no better than when your little munchkin(s) left you. So few of my Mummy friends feel like they can take a proper break because the guilt sets in. I had told myself there would be almost no guilt on our honeymoon (easier said than done), and I was to make the most of this time with my new husband. Actually, that was exactly what I needed to do. I needed a break from a very beautiful, switched on, non-sleeping little lady, which in the run up to the honeymoon I felt very guilty about.
I was a little ashamed to admit it during the holiday, but having a break from motherhood was doing me the world of good. Of course I missed her with every fibre of my being, but I realised it was doing us all the world of good, when a few days into the holiday I had had a full nights sleep and so had Poppy!! She had slept through the night for the first time, in her cot, with no fuss... and she continued to do so for the rest of the break! What a star! Before we had gone away, I would spend all evening running up and down the stairs to settle her, and she slept in a cot with one side down, against our bed, which often meant that she managed to crawl in with us.
It was at this point of the holiday that I let go of the guilt that had crept in. Time away and in a slightly different routine, turned out to be just what she needed too. What a big (almost) year it's been for her, she just needed a break. I wasn't being a bad Mum by leaving her. Phew. Aaaaaand relax!! For Steve and I, having some 'us' time proved invaluable. We've not had that in almost a year (which I'm not complaining about, I wouldn't have it any other way), but because of that, I think we savoured every single moment together, which made our honeymoon soooooo special. We had time to have real conversations, that didn't revolve around baby food, nap times or delightful nappy contents. We got dressed up for dinner and drinks every night (not a bit of baby sick in sight) and we had time to make some new friends, who actually live near us so we hope to stay in touch. We had time to mess about in the pool, drink cocktails, read books and walk along the beach. We had time to be a young(ish) couple again and it was perfect.
When I got home, I was a little overwhelmed by the emotion of missing my girl, and when I saw her I held her so tightly. I think time away made me appreciate her a little bit more. It seems to be taboo to admit that you need a break from being a parent, or sometimes just being an adult in general, but it shouldn't be. If you need a break, take one. It might be 5 minutes, 5 hours or 5 days, but it may just be long enough to give you what you need, so you shouldn't be afraid to take it! Forget other people's opinions, I did. A few people told me that leaving Poppy was a mistake and they were so wrong, it was so far from a mistake that that's laughable. She was fine for the whole week away, in fact it was like a little holiday of her own, which she clearly loved. The pictures my parents took throughout the week say it all!
I think what I am trying to say is that a bit of time away from Poppy and my 'Mummy life' was great. That's not to say I don't love my life because I do, and anyone who knows me will second that. I think when you become a Mum, it's easy to forget that you had a life pre-baby, and maybe a little trip back to that life every now and again might be really beneficial, and it might be just the break we all need!
Xx
It took a lot of convincing for me to agree to leave Poppy at home while we went to Mexico. A week seemed like such a long time and we would be so far away! The Mummy guilt was almost too much, but eventually, I agreed, and I'm so glad I did, which is apparently, judging by reactions when I've said this, a controversial thing to say?! I'm not sure why though. I love my baby, but I love my husband too, without him there would be no her, so I think it's OK to enjoy time without her. It don't think it makes me a bad Mum, I actually think it made me a better Mum, and a better wife.
I thought I would be a total wreck when it came to dropping Poppy off on the Friday lunchtime before we left, but actually, I was surprisingly OK. I had to tell Steve not to talk to me for a minute or two when we left in case I cried, but by the time we hit the A46 out of Coventry, I was OK. She was OK. She had her own little cot and tonnes of toys at Mum and Dads, and she absolutely adores them, so I knew she would be fine. When I've told people that I wasn't a complete wreck, without tears streaming from my eyes as I left her, some have been shocked that I wasn't more emotional... but I don't get why. I was still going to leave her... what would dramatics have done except make everything harder for all of us??
On the Saturday morning we got up nice and early and off we went to Gatwick. Again, I was surprisingly OK, but we had spoken to Mum in the morning and then in the airport lounge we took advantage of the free wifi and face timed our beautiful girl. She was smiling and happy so I was immediately put at ease, not that I had expected her to be any other way to be honest. The flight was fine, and so was the first night in Mexico however, I was starting to feel a little guilty that I didn't feel like my heart was breaking being away from her (or something equally as dramatic), but I was ok.
Every morning when we woke up, we face timed (how amazing is technology), and each time, Poppy would beam from ear to ear when she saw us. It was the highlight of my mornings, and Steve will back me up when I say that I practically leapt out of bed each day to get my phone and make the call. When I saw how happy she was, I knew she was fine, and that made it easy for me to relax and enjoy every second of the honeymoon (have I mentioned it was amazing?!) That's not to say I didn't talk about her at every chance I got, to anyone who asked (and to a fair few who didn't). I'm sure I bored our new friends to tears, but they were so lovely and listened to me bragging about my perfect little ray of sunshine, and how good she was being for her Nanny and Grandad.I was able to start my days knowing that all was OK back home, and that meant I was able to be completely 'there' with Steve, without having my mind racing back to Coventry all the time to wonder how Poppy was, which was kind of the whole point. I know just how lucky I am to have people that love Poppy so much and will take care of her for us without a moments hesitation, and I don't take that for granted at all.
Many parents will tell you they 'need a break', and I mean a real break. A few days child free, rather than just a couple of hours at home without them, when actually you end up busier because you feel like you need to make the most of that time. So 3 loads of washing, and a sparkling house later you've achieved loads, but actually sometimes you feel no better than when your little munchkin(s) left you. So few of my Mummy friends feel like they can take a proper break because the guilt sets in. I had told myself there would be almost no guilt on our honeymoon (easier said than done), and I was to make the most of this time with my new husband. Actually, that was exactly what I needed to do. I needed a break from a very beautiful, switched on, non-sleeping little lady, which in the run up to the honeymoon I felt very guilty about.
It was at this point of the holiday that I let go of the guilt that had crept in. Time away and in a slightly different routine, turned out to be just what she needed too. What a big (almost) year it's been for her, she just needed a break. I wasn't being a bad Mum by leaving her. Phew. Aaaaaand relax!! For Steve and I, having some 'us' time proved invaluable. We've not had that in almost a year (which I'm not complaining about, I wouldn't have it any other way), but because of that, I think we savoured every single moment together, which made our honeymoon soooooo special. We had time to have real conversations, that didn't revolve around baby food, nap times or delightful nappy contents. We got dressed up for dinner and drinks every night (not a bit of baby sick in sight) and we had time to make some new friends, who actually live near us so we hope to stay in touch. We had time to mess about in the pool, drink cocktails, read books and walk along the beach. We had time to be a young(ish) couple again and it was perfect.
When I got home, I was a little overwhelmed by the emotion of missing my girl, and when I saw her I held her so tightly. I think time away made me appreciate her a little bit more. It seems to be taboo to admit that you need a break from being a parent, or sometimes just being an adult in general, but it shouldn't be. If you need a break, take one. It might be 5 minutes, 5 hours or 5 days, but it may just be long enough to give you what you need, so you shouldn't be afraid to take it! Forget other people's opinions, I did. A few people told me that leaving Poppy was a mistake and they were so wrong, it was so far from a mistake that that's laughable. She was fine for the whole week away, in fact it was like a little holiday of her own, which she clearly loved. The pictures my parents took throughout the week say it all!
I think what I am trying to say is that a bit of time away from Poppy and my 'Mummy life' was great. That's not to say I don't love my life because I do, and anyone who knows me will second that. I think when you become a Mum, it's easy to forget that you had a life pre-baby, and maybe a little trip back to that life every now and again might be really beneficial, and it might be just the break we all need!
Xx
