Not every labour story is a horror story...

I've been thinking about sharing my labour story for a few months now, and I've decided I will. I have come across so many labour stories on blogs and vlogs, which I love reading and listening to; but the ones I've seen all seem to be negative, and it’s not always like that. I had a really positive experience of labour, so I wanted to put it out there. Maybe it will give people hope that not every labour story is a horror story! 

When I was pregnant, almost everyone who decided I needed to know about their labour (in detail, whether I wanted to or not) seemed to have a horror story to tell. So naturally, I was terrified. All I’d heard about was how awful labour was and about forceps, ventouse, tears and cesareans. One Born Every Minute wasn't helpful either, as their stories, albeit beautiful stories of birth, all seem to have problematic elements. The ‘easy’ labours (well, no birth is ever easy; it’s called labour for a reason) seem to feature very rarely.

My experience was the opposite of what I’d heard about, so I wanted to share it. I know I'm lucky that I had a good experience, and I am grateful for that. For the women that have had rough times, I really respect you! It's not easy anyway, let alone when things don't go smoothly.

I hope that I am able to give someone else hope that not all labours are bad!

(It’s going to be a long one, so I plan to do a video of my story too, but not for a couple of weeks, because I'm off on my honeymoooooooon!)

So here’s my story…

I went into labour on my due date, Saturday 20^th September 2014. Textbook. My contractions started at about 8:30am, but I ignored them for a few hours as I didn't know if it was labour or Braxton Hicks and I didn't want to make a fuss. It seemed too perfect, to be one of the 5% of women to go in to labour on their due date, but I did and it was happening! Excited!! About 1pm, I thought I’d better tell Steve, and he was so cute… he was excited and nervous, and looked after me really well! I spoke to the hospital a few hours later, and they were great, they said to go in to be checked over when I felt I needed to (which I eventually did at 2am!)

Steve and I spent the afternoon pottering about, then we had dinner and watched a film (The Shawshank Redemption was on TV,  great film!) I really struggled to be still, so I had to keep moving. I  couldn't lie down or sit still, I spent almost 24 hours either bouncing on a ball, walking around, or taking quick baths. But that was exactly what I had hoped for, an active labour. I hated the thought of being in a bed on my back, or having an epidural. Not that there is anything wrong with those choices or scenarios, it’s just not what I wanted.

That said, I didn't have a birth plan as such, we had a list of birth preferences. All of which were exactly that. There were things we would have preferred to do, but we completely understood if things needed to change to ensure the safe delivery of our baby. I didn't want a plan, because then I couldn't be upset if things had to stray from it. My piece of paper with the preferences on made the midwives chuckle, as I had written an apology for any shouting or swearing at them that may occur. As it happens, I was pretty calm the whole way through.

In the very early hours of Sunday, we went to the hospital, (thank you Mum and Dad for getting out of bed to take us) where I was checked over. They said I could stay or go home for a while, so back home we went, for more bouncing on balls and wandering around, until I cried at my Mum a bit later, and we decided it was time to go back to the hospital at about 9am, and I was admitted. 

This was it. We were in hospital, and when we left, we would be parents! From here on is what I count as my 'real' labour, the 24 hours before hand was very early labour, so I don't usually count it.

I was lucky enough to be able to go to the Lucina Birth Centre at University Hospital Coventry, and it was amazing! We were the only ones there that day, and we had a huge room, with a twinkly ceiling, a pull down bed, and most importantly for me, a birth pool (although the twinkly ceiling was pretty amazing!) Steve and I were actually having a lovely time, we had music playing (mostly musical theatre, sorry Steve), I was singing along to my playlist at the top of my lungs (which the midwives enjoyed, so I'm told), we were snap-chatting our friends, we were loving life… And that’s pretty much how the whole labour went. I actually loved my labour, and had a great time. I'm not sure you’re meant to say that, but it’s the truth! 

I want to mention my midwife. Her name was Siobhan Berry and she was incredible. Everyone we dealt with was brilliant, but Siobhan was just a star. She listened to me so much, and really looked after Steve and I. I really like to know what’s happening in situations, and she kept me really well informed, without the feeling of intrusion. We were mostly left to our own devices until about 2pm, which was lovely, but at the same time I felt so well cared for, which is a really difficult balance to successfully achieve. I will be forever grateful to Siobhan for the care she gave us, and for safely delivering our beautiful Poppy to us.

I spent the next few hours in the birth pool, which was great for me and I loved it. I would massively recommend trying it if you’re able to. It’s not for everyone, but for me it both relaxed me and helped my labour to progress. A few hours in, I tried (and hated) gas and air. It made me feel suuuuuuper dizzy and all out of control, which I really didn't like, but it provided a welcome distraction. After a while I realised I was pushing, which was strange as I couldn't remember starting to push, or being told to, but all of a sudden, two midwives and a student (who was also fantastic, and will make a great midwife when she finishes her training) were in the room with us, and nobody was telling me to stop. After an hour or so pushing, at 3:12pm on Sunday 21^st September 2014 our beautiful baby girl was born, all 8lbs 14oz of her (yes, it hurt, and no I didn't tear because I went with what felt natural and didn't force anything). What was super special was that I was the first person to ever touch her as she was born in the water, and I got to lift her up into my arms for our first cuddle. I cried, of course! Steve wasn't able to cut the cord, as she was born with the cord around her neck, which is fairly common, but she was fine. So they untangled her, and took her to check over. She was so calm. Beautiful and calm. I didn't know she was a girl at this point, so Steve had a little look, told me, and I cried again! She was passed back to me and we sat in the water enjoying our first few moments together. 

After a cuddle with our little flower, she was passed over to Steve, and my heart nearly exploded. I got to look at him clearly for the first time in hours, and my love for him sky rocketed. Before having Poppy, I didn't think it was possible to love him any more than I already did, but he was incredible during labour, and that support is something I will never forget. Nothing was too much for him, he was even holding the gas and air for me at one point. Then when the midwife put Poppy in his arms it was emotion overload, and the tears came again. My world, right there. Watching him hold her and look at her with so much love is a memory I will truly treasure forever. We had had a baby, and there she was, all snuggled up with her Daddy. It was just perfect.

Delivering the placenta wasn't much fun, because after a calm half an hour, the dreaded contractions were back and I was back to pushing. But it happened naturally, without the need for an injection and was over and done with before I knew it. Then I had Poppy back in my arms for a whole two hours while we waited to see if she would latch and feed on her own. Turns out she wouldn't so I had to hand express and feed her with a teeny tiny syringe. This is another moment where the midwives were amazing. I was shattered by this point, and they were great, helping and showing me how to hand express effectively. Poppy latched when she was about 3 and a half hours old, and by 4am the next morning, she had done it a few times and I was pretty confident we had jumped the first breastfeeding hurdle, and I was right. Since that point, she been great with breastfeeding, which I'm really grateful for.

Another amazing thing about the Lucina, is that visitors can come and go as they please. After a few hours in our ‘new family bubble’, my parents, Steve’s Dad and his sister came to the hospital to meet the newest member of the family. Watching our family meet her was very special, and even more so that they got to do it all together, instead of having to allocate time to each person to visit. We were able to enjoy the new addition to our family together which was a wonderful experience.

Things weren't so great in the evening as Poppy had to spend a few hours in the neonatal unit, but she was fine, the doctors were just doing their job really well. However, that is not ‘birth’ related, and I am going to leave my story there, as I want to keep to the positive aspects of the experience. After a night in hospital, we were able to go home and our new life as a family of 3 really started. I can’t believe she’s been here for almost a whole year already. It really has flown by.

Through the whole labour,  I remember feeling independent yet supported beyond belief, which I guess is the aim of the Lucina Birth Centre. I didn't want a ‘hospital’ style birth, but wanted the security of being in a hospital, and I got exactly what I’d hoped for, and I'm so thankful I did. I couldn't have wished or planned for a better birth and never in my dreams could I have imagined I’d have a midwife as amazing as Siobhan.

I hope that my experience has shown that it is possible to have a positive birth experience, and truly enjoy it. Like I said, I had a great time, and actually enjoyed the whole thing, from start to finish, excruciating pain included. Because it was worth it. Every second was worth it for our perfect beautiful girl!

Xx